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THE HABIT

I must say, in this post, I’ll be revealing a lot facts about me that some of you might have known already, the facts that some of you might not like too.

As the youngest (used to) member of the family, I was raised in a picture perfect family. I have parents who are very supportive, sometimes overprotective, but they raised me so good so I can be a well-mannered independent woman when I grow up. I have three brothers that spoiled me so much and made me feel like I’m the princess of the family. I have the most wonderful friends from school and apparently I have more enemies than I thought I had. I’m not surprised.

Sometimes I can be quite a bitch, a bit too much demanding; I have the urge to lead and control whatever I have in front of me. I’m not blaming this on anyone or anything, I was just so used to the fact that I could actually have everything that I want, in my way. But I realized it’s never going to be the same once I stepped outside my comfort zone. Sometimes I get frustrated when things doesn’t go the way I wanted, I got really pissed of when I don’t get what I want. I do get a bit self-conscious when someone criticized me or tell me that I’m just not the person they knew. But I believe somewhere within me I’m still a person who cares for the people that I love, I’m still the same old person who can actually talk things out, being the shoulder to cry on for whoever needs it, and I’m still the girl who can make everyone feels good about themselves. Maybe sometimes I just wish that I can do that to myself. On the side note, I can be quite pessimistic at times.

Things changed, and so am I. Not that I’m spilling these shits to get anyone’s empathy. I appreciate when there’s someone who can actually tell me and be upfront to me that I’m not doing things properly rather than talking about it behind my back. I am grateful for what I have now, I treasure my family for what they have done to me and for making me who I’ve become. I’m thankful for my friends who think that I’m a selfish crazy bitch and have the guts to tell me that. And I feel blessed to have such a wonderful boyfriend who love me just the way I am, with a little bit of adjustments of course, but he loves me anyway and I love him back.

I believe I’m not offending anyone with this post. I just want to make sure that I still have the ability to take a look at myself and reflect. I’m just saying.

xo

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