Here I am, sitting in front of my laptop screen, finally my heart wake up from a very long night sleep. A year and a half. I’ve lost my heart, I never knew where it went. Never thought it would come back to me ever again. This feeling, not love, nor hate. It’s the loneliness that I feel. Tried to resist the thought that I might never feel it again, just because I feel it too much, for too long. It’s been one and half year. What I think is love has come by and go all over again. The radio plays songs that I don’t want to hear, talking about craps that I don’t want to ignore but listen. My mother once said to me, treat yourself things to make you feel alive, from all the things that you’ve been losing. I’m not feeling any less shallow then, but now. I think that was only yesterday, I was bright and cheerful. But reality came around as if to knock me down. It does. Leaving me with such doubts, about life and so on. What do I do now? Should I hold on to the reality that keep on disappointing each day? Should I take life one day at a time, sitting, waiting, and wishing there’s a light that would never goes out by the end of the day? I truly am indeed, alone again, naturally.