letters / photos

I’M PRETTY MUCH BROKE FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK

I was staring at my laptop screen when I heard the humongous sound outside that pretty much freaked me out. I was almost peed in my pants. Well, I took a quick look outside and oh, there’s a firework. I suspect, there’s some kind of party in a racecourse near my house and they put on the fireworks there. It was pretty. Very pretty, well at least it catches my attention and distracts me from what I was doing, studying.

It’s pretty cold outside, I decided to put on my robes while I’m standing there watching the fireworks until it went out. The fireworks set my heart on fire, I mean, on fire in the case of longing and wanting someone, and something so bad. I look at the mirror, do I look alright? I don’t think so. I lit my cigarette, take a puff and wonder, why I can’t see the moon tonight. I stood outside for about 15 minutes, just smoking and thinking. From afar, I could hear my iPod speaker was playing the song ‘Wonderful Tonight’, but I don’t feel wonderful at all. Somewhere in my mind keeps on telling me that I should study, the exam is on Wednesday and I still have nothing in mind about those IT bullshits.

I tried to distract myself with dancing, and dancing with the song ‘Dancing in the Moonlight’. i tried to close my eyes and feel the cold breeze from the wind tonight. But I just don’t feel right. Every little thing are constantly changing and I can’t stand it. I feel like my world has not revolved since. Where did my heart goes? Where did my mind flies? One place I could think of, was the place where I used to have some fun and pleasure to consume by myself. Can I go there now? I really wanted to take a ride on those sweet fingertips one more time. I wanted to feel those margarita drenches through my lips and my neck. Those little sweet things make me want to go back.

This feeling make me want to throw curses and swears to someone’s face. Someone who took you away from me, who took my dream and my future and throw it in a garbage bin. I don’t want to exaggerate it but I do miss you. Not to mention all the good things we used to do. I remember the times when I jumped into the sunny spot, and you took my hand and turn me over so we’re looking face-to-face. Those fingers touches my eyes, my nose and my lips. The sun was shining so bright I have to squint my eyes whenever it hits my face. I can’t really see your face, because of the sunlight, but surely I could feel your warm breath in front of me. Just by the time you tried to kiss me in the cheek, a car passed by us and we could hear the loud sound of the radio playing the song, ‘Sex on Fire’ from a distance. We laughed. We laughed so hard until I have to sit down and cried my eyes out. I miss that time.

The wonder of having you back is out my reach and I don’t want it to. Constantly thinking of things to do, to get you out of my mind. Trying to erase the image where you put your kisses all over me. I really do want to feel you all through the day and the night. But I don’t want you back. Not for now, maybe in a different lifetime. Maybe. Thinking of you makes me feel like it’s bedtime. So I just want to say, good night, and good luck.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s