Why ‘Pilot’?
When you notice the very first episode of every tv series, they call it Pilot. It’s meant to be a ‘testing ground’. Why? Because this is to see if the show is actually sells to the audience and have an awesome rating, therefore the show can be continued.
I figured lately that what I have here in Melbourne is actually my very own ‘Pilot’. It’s a start. It is the time to see whether I can be someone someday, to see if everything I’ve learned so far paid off and can offer me a much crazier life out there. I don’t know if this is what I wanted right from the start; flying out to Melbourne and study communications, which I thought was pretty easy but in fact it’s not. I chose to stand up on my own feet and live my life here in Melbourne for the past 3 years. I’ve been happy, I’ve been down, I’ve been broke and I’ve been through a lot.
But I’m still trying to figure out what future has to offer me. Will I be working on my dream-job? Will I be travelling around the world and tick everything out of my bucket list? Will I be married someday just as I planned? I’ll never know.
Sometimes I wonder if all that matter is the outcome of everything. The result. If I can be more patient, I wil be bla bla bla. And so on. But how about ‘right know’? Does that mean if I say these years that have passed in Melbourne was just a try-out? Does that mean what I feel during those years don’t matter because what matters the most is the future? What if there’ll be no future?
