HOPES AND WISHES

My boyfriend used to say this to me, wishing won’t get you anywhere. By this, I assume that wishing is just useless. Well, in particular sense I mean, it’s never useless to wish someone a happy birthday you know. But the thing is when you wish of something, it’s either you make an action and start a move, or you just don’t. It’s either you’ll get what you wish for or you better not wish for it. Wishes and hopes keep our expectations high, but for me, hoping and wishing are the closest thing to suicide. Once I feel like wishing for something that would never happen, I start to get excited for nothing, and got hurt for everything in the end. That’s what always happen to me. Lessons learned. I try to capture the bigger picture for everything when my heart wanted to live the moment where things really are. It is hard. It’s even harder to be patient to just sit around and wait for things to happen. Wise man would say that the hard work will eventually paid off because there’s always pleasure on the other side of every pain. It is the process that I worry about. So for now, I think I’m just going to let go of the hopes and wishes and maybe start wishing again when I’m ready to get hurt and enjoy the pain again.

xo

SEYCHELLES

This video looks unreal. But still it shows the exact thing I need right in this second. If I can have just a little time and more money to spend, I think this is the perfect place to grab some sweet escape from the reality. Yes I want to disappear until further notice.

KEANE

NEVER TOO OLD TO LEARN HOW TO COUNT

The distance can be so great, but I believe it won’t overweight the amount of love we share each day.

So I’m here down under, and you’re all the way up there. Google said we’re about 10284.04 miles or 16550.10 kilometers apart. Wow.

I used to hate the distance. Or maybe I still do. But that won’t change anything. I miss you, love!

MON AMOUR

Well, these past weeks have been crazy. Like literally, I went crazy and ridiculous. My mind was a disaster, with those anxiety and insecurity feelings crashing down on me. Feels like having a PMS all the time, physically and psychologically. Until I came to a realization that I’m the foolish idiot who can’t be grateful for what I’ve had so far. I’m so lucky to have a man, a real man by my side who can always make me smile, or furthermore, think rationally.

I found a song by Adele called Daydreamer, that I love so much, and it reminds me of my boyfriend. So much. Here it goes:

Daydreamer, sittin’ on the seat
Soaking up the sun he is a real lover,
makin’ up the past and feeling up his girl like he’s never felt her figure before.
A jaw dropper
Looks good when he walks, he is the subject of their talk
He would be hard to chase, but good to catch
and he could change the world with his hands behind his back.

You can find him sittin’ on your doorstep
Waiting for the surprise
It will feel like he’s been there for hours
And you can tell that he’ll be there for life

Daydreamer, with eyes that make you melt
He lends his coat for shelter because he’s there for you when he shouldn’t be
But he stays all the same, waits for you and then sees you through
There’s no way I could describe him
All I say is, just what I’m hoping for

But I will find him sittin’ on my doorstep
Waiting for the surprise
It will feel like he’s been there for hours
And I can tell he’ll be there for life

I feel so blessed. And it has been almost 11 months and I can gladly say that I’m still so much in love with him. More precisely, I’m crazy for him. Maybe you’d say that I’m just so lovey dovey but I don’t care. When you find a man who can make you feel alive again, I bet you’d do the same thing as I’m doing right now.

xo

JUIN

So it’s june already, yea? I can’t believe time flies by so fast even though I’ve been complaining about this and that all the time. I thought it was just yesterday when I wake up and packing my bags for my Paris trip early this year. And now it’s been 5 months past and I’m now entering my 5th semester exam period.

Honestly, I’ve been very nervous and anxious about the coming exams. I feel like I’m somehow unprepared even though I study almost everyday and I tried my best to focus on things that I don’t understand. Will my hard work pays off by the end of the semester?

Nothing is so interesting lately. Mom’s coming tomorrow, she’ll stay with me during the exam, and on the 18th, my dad will be here, and they’ll stay until the 30th. Exam is starting next week, and maybe we’ll go to some places for a day or two after that.

I’ve been losing weight since early last month, maybe it’s due to stress, lack of sleep and food. I don’t know. I don’t care.

So yeah, let’s see what June has for me. It better be good, I warn you.

xo